A New Job for Mom?

I've been really content with being a stay at home Mom since I retired.  I love what I'm doing, I love being home with my kids.  But, I will admit that I get bored.  The "working me" really worked, like 70 plus hours a week in a hectic, fast paced environment.  

So I come up with stuff to do.  I am busy all day long.  I take on new stuff like canning, and then I do it at the pace I'm used to doing stuff when I was working outside the home.  I can't just sit.  I can't just rest.  I've tried.  I just can't.  I have settled into a nice routine since 2010.  Working outside the home hasn't crossed my mind, or it hadn't anyway until about a month ago when I got a possibly life-changing phone call.

I was offered a job.  Not just any job, but a really GOOD job.  And to my complete surprise, I was excited.  I immediately wanted to take the job and go back to work.  I called The Coach and got the standard "You do whatever you want to do, it's your decision".  

Me:  "It's a TON of money.  I'd be stupid to turn it down."

The Coach:  "We don't need the money.  The money should be the last reason you take it".

The Coach:  "You really ought to talk to the boys.  Are you ready to put Bo in daycare?"

Me:  "Daycare won't kill him.  It didn't kill any of the other kids."

It was pretty clear that I wasn't even thinking about the kids, because I figured they wouldn't care one way or the other.  I talked to them, and it didn't go well.  Jack immediately burst into tears and declared that my job was to be his Mom and I was not going to go back to work.  Justice handled it better, he said it was up to me.  But then I got worried about Justice more than anyone else.  

Justice:  "So, I'd be home all day by myself in the summer?"  

But see, he didn't say it like it was a bad thing.  He said it in a way that made me wonder why he thought that was ok. 

And Jack pipes in:  "THAT MEANS NO MORE ZOO ON SPRING BREAK MOM!  I CAN'T HANDLE IT!" 

Let us not forget that Jack hates the zoo. 

But back to Justice…  that was enough right there to make me question my motives.  I decided I'd give myself a week to think about it, and once the high wore off it was easier to put things into perspective.

Pro's:

Money, and lots of it

Shower before noon

Dress nicely every day

Hire a housekeeper

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Con's:

Cancel summer trip since I'll be working

Baby in day care

Working 70 plus hrs a week

Juggling sick kids

Switching kids schools (that's a big one)

Have to put Jadyn in daycare.

No soccer and football games because they are after school

No more canning or any hobbies for me

Justice home all day by himself in the summer

And believe it or not, the thing that broke the deal was not being able to take our annual trip to the zoo during spring break.  You know, the trip that Jack hates.

Spring break fell within a couple of weeks of when I retired.  I recall very vividly how odd it was to be at the zoo on a weekday.  It was quiet, and not crowded.  We were not in a hurry, and it was calm and peaceful.  Jack was miserable because he hates the zoo, but it was a completely different experience for me.  It was that trip to the zoo that I realized how awesome it was to be able to go to the zoo on a Wednesday without worrying what I was missing at work, and what I had to make up the next day.  It was like suddenly the whole idea behind retiring to be with the kids finally caught up to me and I realized how great it was going to be.

And it has been great.  I would be miserable if I had to leave my kids to go back to work.  I have been blessed beyond measure to not have to work, to be able to take care of my kids myself.  I let greed get me there for a second.  I saw pretty blouses and business suits, nicely done hair and makeup, and high heels in every color.  I saw money, and lots of it.  But The Coach was right, we don't need it.

So I admit, I'm human.  I let the prospects of all that get me for a minute.  But, after a week or so, I came back down from that and realized how much my kids do need me, and how much we do not need me to work outside the home again.  I don't need to be in a boardroom or business suit to be validated, I just need to be able to take Jack to the zoo, even when he hates it.  I don't want to juggle sick kids again, and I certainly don't want to put Bo in daycare.  

I officially turned down the job last week.  I don't regret it, and I'm thankful that The Coach was supportive either  way.  I am disappointed that I let greed take over there for a minute, but I'm grateful it was short-lived.  I'm also grateful that Justice will not be home alone every day in the summer right after he turns 13… because it's the summer after he turns 13 and the last thing he needs is to be home alone, unsupervised.  I have five summers left with Justice before he leaves for his mission, and I don't want to miss them.

And as for Jack?  We will be going to the zoo in another month or so, and he will complain.  But he will be there, on a quiet weekday, with me.