"Dating"

I had quite the conversation with Justice today after school.  He sauntered in the kitchen and left me a note on the kitchen counter.  It means one of two things when my children saunter in with a note and saunter back out.

1. They are about to ask something really stupid.

2.  They are embarrassed about whatever they want to talk about.

We can chalk this note up to both of the above.  And yes, that does say "H E double hockey sticks no".  That's pretty much exactly spot-on for how I answer a stupid question.  

And the ending?  Classic.  As if the fact that he loves me with all of his heart will change the "H E double hockey sticks no" answer he is most certainly going to get.

I admit he had me scratching my head after I read this.  He asks me if he can start dating "again", like he ever dated to begin with.  Of course he hasn't.  He's TWELVE for crying out loud.  So I called him into the kitchen to have a chat.  

I have always tried very hard to have an open relationship with my kids.  I do not want them to be embarrassed to come to me with any sort of problem or situation, no matter what it is.  When you convince them they can do that though, you have to be prepared for anything.  You can't over react, you have to let them speak and actually listen to them even if you want to pass out, throw up or cry when you hear what they have to say.  And you certainly can never laugh at them, because your reaction will dictate whether they will ever come to you with a problem again.  If they feel humiliated, you can forget about it.  The door to communication with your child is closed.

So, rather than just shouting "H E double hockey sticks NO" at the top of my lungs, I asked him what exactly his definition of dating really is.

Jus:  "You know, DATING."

He started fumbling around so I tried to help.

Me:  "My definition of dating is going somewhere, to a place like dinner or a movie with someone that you like-like.  You hold hands, and maybe even kiss them good night".

Jus (MORTIFIED and queasy looking):  "Oh HECK NO!  NOT THAT!  That's not what I meant.  I meant can I ask a girl at school to be my girlfriend and maybe send her a text message sometimes."

Suddenly the request to date "again" was making more sense.  He had a "girlfriend" at the beginning of the school year.  She was super high maintenance in that she texted him every five seconds for validation of their "relationship" and that drove him bonkers.  He was walking on eggshells and she was stalking him pretty fiercely.  I put my foot down and made him call "it" (whatever "it" was) off with her.  I told him he wasn't ready for all that business.  He was thankful for it to be over and then that was it.

Me:  "Does your definition of dating include ANY physical contact?"

Jus:  "Oh gosh Mom, NO!!!  That is (wait for it…) DISGUSTING!"

I appreciate the fact that he actually asked my permission to "date" this girl, and I reluctantly agreed.  It's harmless and he definitely understands right from wrong and where the boundaries lie.  

And so it begins.  The little boy that still holds my hand at the store is growing up whether I like it or not.  I will cherish every single day that he thinks the true meaning of dating is "DISGUSTING", because surely those days are numbered.