Joe the Bee Killer

Just for informational purposes, I started this post three weeks ago.  It's taken that long before I could really say we (Joe) was successful at getting rid of our problem.

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Three years ago, a swarm of bees moved in to the large brick pillar on our front porch.  When I say a swarm, I mean a crap load of bees.  It was quite the site to see, there were thousands of bees swarming all around our neighborhood, until BAM.   They decided they liked our pillar and moved in, totally uninvited.  Because you know, we are lucky like that.

Joe took these pictures the first day they came.  Once they established themselves inside the pillar, it wasn't anything like this.  Maybe twenty or so bees clustered around that spot instead of thousands.

We called a few exterminators.  Exterminators don't like to mess with bees because they are such an important part of the environment.  That first season, I called the two bee keepers I could find with no luck, nobody wanted to come out to get our bees because they were in a difficult spot to get at.  They said as long as they aren't bothering you, just leave them.  So we did.  Once they moved inside the pillar, they really didn't bother anybody and they didn't hang outside of it much.  

But every season, there were more and more bees.  This is the third year of the beehive, and on the few warm days we had early in the season, there were A LOT of bees flying around the porch.  Far more than the twenty or so the years before.  The kids stopped wanting to go outside to play.  Shandi literally started running from her car to the front door to avoid them.  And then, the unspeakable happened.  The UPS Man said he was too scared to deliver packages because of the bees.  

I do 90% of my shopping online.  Suddenly the bees are a HUGE problem that must be dealt with.

  

Through our church, we found a bee keeper/extractor.  Awesome!  Progress!  Not.  We sent him some pictures of our problem, and guess what?  He said he didn't think he could get them because they were inside the brick pillar, and they were up so high.  Taking the hive out would require the entire brick pillar to be destroyed and rebuilt.  You know, the original brick pillar from 1895 that would cost thousands upon thousands of dollars to rebuild because the entire porch surround would need to rebuilt with it so the brick would match, and only after we got permission from the local Historical Society.  This pillar is massive and supports the entire weight of the house on that corner, and an engineer would have to come to make sure the load was distributed properly so the entire house wouldn't come down.  Awesome.  

Now, I completely understand how important bees are to the environment, and I know they are becoming scarce.  I know some people will be really mad when they find out that we decided to kill the bees ourselves instead of paying 10 grand to have them safely moved somewhere.  But that's OK, we killed the bees anyhow.  And no, I don't feel the slightest amount of guilt over it.  We tried to co-exist, and we tried to have them removed.

The advice the beekeeper gave us was to stuff the holes the bees were flying in and out of with steel wool.  Apparently bees don't like steel wool, but will chew through any other type of filler that you put in the hole.  I also did some research online and found the best type of poison to use to kill what was inside the hive before filling said holes.

Sevin dust (poison), check.

Steel wool, check.

Cold, rainy night, check.

Ladder, check.

Most awesome husband in the world, check.

So after all the bees had gone into the hive because of the cold, dark, and rain, Joe hopped on the ladder and went to work.   He put the Sevin dust in a sprayer thingie, and inserted the tube into the largest hole on the top of the pillar.  We feared that initial action would really really anger the bees and didn't know quite what to expect.  But after blowing an entire bag of Sevin dust into the pillar in random places, only a few bees came out disgruntled and really disoriented.  They died pretty much immediately, then Joe could move on to part 2.

And here is the bee killer, stuffing the holes full of steel wool.   He stood there for an hour ripping little pieces of steel wool and stuffing it into all the holes the bees had made.  What a pain.

Then we went to bed, and then we waited.

Within a week, they came back.

Turns out worker bees only live 21 days, so the Queens lay eggs to hatch in some sort of cycle to cover the deaths.  The poison doesn't kill the eggs, so any eggs inside the pillar will still hatch a live bee, and if there are any holes left they will get out before they die.  Turns out he missed a few little cracks in the masonry.

So every week for two weeks, Joe has hopped up on the ladder, removed some of the steel wool, and pumped another round of poison inside the pillar.

Luckily, it looks like we finally got them this time.  It's been four days with zero activity at the pillar.  Not a single bee.  Apparently we will always run the risk of another swarm finding that spot favorable and trying to re establish the hive if we don't get the hive out.  Joe's plan is to remove the wood at the top of the pillar so we can remove as much of the old hive as possible, replace the old wood and fix the mortar spots the bees made.  A much easier task if the bees are dead, and we will do it during the winter.

For now, the bee problem is solved.

And the wussy UPS Man can deliver my packages without fearing the wrath of the bees.