Tragic Pooping Disaster

"Justice, you don't need to use that much toilet paper when you poop."

"Justice, stop using so much toilet paper when you poop, you are going to REALLY clog the toilet one day and I'm going to be MAD."

"Justice, IF YOU DON'T STOP CLOGGING UP THE TOILET WITH AN ENTIRE ROLL OF TOILET PAPER I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU POOP OUTSIDE".

The above statements are typical of a Justice poop experience at our house.  The boy uses far too much toilet paper and seriously has to use the plunger every time he poops.  EVERY SINGLE TIME.  We have warned him several times about the dangers of over-using the TP and what sorts of horrible things we will do to him if he SERIOUSLY clogs the toilet.  He did not heed the warning.

Late on a Thursday evening, the boy finally did it.  After repeated warnings, he did it anyhow.  Clogged the toilet up so badly that no matter what Joe did, he couldn't get it unclogged.  It backed up into our shower.  It was horrible.  

Joe is a pretty decent handyman.  He is capable of fixing most things around the house and I'm thankful for it.  But he's not normally happy when he's fixing said things, and this was NO exception.  No amount of plunging the toilet or drano in the shower was going to fix this issue.  So Joe had to do the thing he hates the most.  Go under the house.  

115+ year old houses have creepy crawlspaces.  Our crawlspace is maybe two feet high at the highest point, and 18 inches at the part of the house where the bathroom pipes are.  Joe crawled under the house like the champ he is and tried to flush out the clogged pipe, and only got a lapful of poop water.  He was not pleased.  

"What the %^&*!!!  This is %^&*($%  $%^&*(#$!!!!!!!!  This ^%$# boy!"

It was impressive.  

After using a day of leave from work and spending 8 hours working on pipes and drains, and even removing the toilet and snaking out the sewer pipe, he had no luck.  It was time to call a plumber.  He was not happy.  When he has to hire someone to fix something he takes it as a big sense of "I couldn't do it", and those words never come out of his mouth, ever.

The first plumber came, and said he couldn't do it.  He said old houses don't have a clean out and he couldn't help us.  OK, that was not good news.  He clearly wasn't up to the challenge.  The next morning another plumber showed up.  We have used this plumber before, he ran our gas line for our gas cooktop when we remodeled the kitchen.  He's an honest person, doesn't over charge, and does a good job.  He said the same thing the first plumber did.  That he couldn't fix it because there was no clean out.  BUT, he also said he could fix it if we let him install a clean-out.  Sounded like a plan.  This entailed him using a jackhammer to get through the concrete in our driveway until he reached the 100 year old cast iron sewer pipe so he could cut the pipe, remove it and install the clean-out.  Sounds expensive, right?  Yes, it was.  But there was no other option.  It couldn't be fixed without it.  Do you think we were upset with Justice?  It's a safe bet.

Justice got to spend his Saturday afternoon outside watching the plumber and being his assistant.  

Here are a couple of pictures of the hole in our carport.  Not awesome.

And did I mention that hole was in the carport?  Yes, in the carport.  Right where Joe needs to park.  Neither of us are really happy about that, but it's not a complete disaster.  Joe parks on that side of the carport and if he hits the clean-out, then well... sort of not my problem.  At least I won't be getting in trouble for it.  Our cars will have to be parked closer together, and it's really just super inconvenient.  But again, what were the options?  Sigh.  

After shot.  Joe will have to fix the concrete.  

There is good from this.  We have had plumbing issues with the toilet and the shower before, and now that we have the clean-out, Joe can fix the issues himself, and not have to go under the house to do it.  We already have one clean-out, but we have learned from experience that it only works for the "newer" plumbing in the house, not the original plumbing.  Whoever added the new bathroom installed the plumbing so that the two systems do not work together.  This was not a bad thing this weekend, because we were able to use the "new" bathroom to shower and etcetera.  At least we were not without water from Thursday till Saturday.

As for Justice, he is currently afraid to poop at home.  I'm OK with that, I told him there are plenty of other places to poop, so poop at school from now on and Walmart on the weekends.  

Easy fix.