A Change of Heart?

I added the question mark because I'm sure it could change at any moment.  I thought I'd wait to write about this momentous occasion just in case he changes his mind.  But that's OK, I take these little moments with Jack wherever I can get them.

Jack is not thrilled about the baby.  When I say not thrilled, I mean N O T   T H R I L L E D.  Disgusted.  Mad.  Nauseated even.  People think it's because HE is the baby and doesn't want to be displaced.  Not true.  Not even remotely close.  He will tell you in a second that he is NOT the baby, because he does not like babies and does not want to be associated with them.  And thankfully, no one has pushed him and asked him to be more specific about why he doesn't want a baby brother or sister.  Because these are his reasons, in his words.

1.  Babies smell horrible.  Like poop and throw up.

2.  They cry all the time, and crying babies are annoying.

3.  Babies can't catch balls.  Or hit balls.  They just sit there looking all dumb.  

4.  They can't sit up and are too wobbly.

5.  They can't talk and they are dumb.

6.  They are drooly and spitty.  Drool and spit are disgusting.

7.  They cry at night when I'm trying to sleep.

8.  Babies are too floppy to wrestle with.

9.  Girl babies are the worst, they like pink.  

10.  Girl babies like boys and that's dumb.

11.  Girl babies like dolls and dolls are dumb.

12.  I like it to be quiet and babies are not quiet.

13.  Babies poop on themselves and that's so gross.

14.  Babies can't even eat food because they don't have teeth.

15.  Babies pull hair and scream for no reason.

And for the grand finale, 

16.  Babies are just so stupid.

 Jack is a loner.  He doesn't like to play with other kids, and he doesn't like to play with me.  He plays with Justice and a few chosen kids from church and that's it.  And he likes it that way.  He is unsociable just like his Daddy and he likes his life that way.  He doesn't want me bugging him during the day, he doesn't like small talk, and he certainly doesn't want a tiny creature disrupting his daily solitude.  In his own words,

"I'm just not feeling it."

Finally, a month or so ago when my belly started to grow he realized that this may indeed happen.  He decided that if he HAS to have a baby brother or sister, it had to be a brother.  I explained to him that we don't get to pick, that Heavenly Father decides for us based on what is best for our family.  Well, that's easy, he says... why in the world would Heavenly Father think a GIRL was best for our family?  (He has a point, I'm just saying...) Then, he started to make plans on how he would dispose of this baby if indeed it is a girl.

"If it's a girl, I'm taking it to Gamestop and trading it for a video game."

"If it's a girl, I'm taking it to the road by the leaf piles and the people can take it away."

"If it's a girl, I'm giving it to someone that needs a baby.  We don't need a baby."

"If it's a girl, I'm just going to never speak to her.  Not ever."

"Maybe Archie (our Elf on a Shelf) can take her back to the North Pole with him."

And my personal favorite,

"If it's a girl, I'm packing up your stuff and you are ALL moving out". 

Hmmm.  I asked him why we were all leaving and not just him, and he said "This is my house, I'm not going anywhere."  He was quite serious.  

Anyway, last night was a big deal.  Up until last night, he wanted nothing to do with the baby or my stomach.  Justice is already very much in love with the baby, and talks to the baby constantly.  He puts his head on my stomach and listens to my belly, sings to the baby and makes a complete fool of himself over the baby.  Jackson?  Never.  Last night, the baby was kicking and I asked him to put his hand on my belly for a second and feel it.  And he actually did it.  And the second he put his hand there, the baby kicked him in the hand.  The look on his face was absolutely priceless.  His jaw dropped and he was so surprised.  And his demeanor and attitude towards the baby changed IMMEDIATELY.  He snuggled up to me and wanted to talk about the baby until he fell asleep.  He rambled off some random names, asked me about when it was coming out of my belly, and wanted to know where it was going to sleep at.  He even suggested he would give up his bed if we didn't have anywhere for the baby to sleep.  It was a complete full circle from where he was ten minutes prior.  I held my breath for the sun to come up this morning and for him to resume plotting the disappearance of the baby, but the VERY first words out of his mouth were:

"How is the baby today?"

He followed that up with this:

"I think it will be OK even if it's a girl baby".

YAY!!!!  Go Jack!  

When we went to Walmart this morning he even asked me to look at the baby stuff.  He said in his most condescending Jack tone of voice, accompanied by a frustrated roll of his eyes:

"MOM, you really need to get a list for what this baby needs.  You aren't ready.  We need pacies and rattles and diapers and toys.  And clothes, lots of clothes.  You need a LIST, MOM".

So while this may all change next week after we find out what "kind of baby we are having", I have enjoyed the last twelve hours and are taking them for what they are worth, and that's a random moment of Jack being anything but a old grumpy man.  He has managed a little tiny glimmer of hope for the tiny baby that will soon be in "his" house, pooping and puking and crying up a storm, and I'm going to just relish the moment.