Reflection

I have mental calendar, and it runs vertically in my head.  I can see it now as plainly as ever as I sit and type this.  Now that it's officially the last day of the year, my brain is focused towards the new year. Tomorrow I will take a mental leap from the bottom of my 2013 vertical calendar to the very top of 2014's.  I have been encouraging Justice to have a calendar in his head.  His calendar is broken into quarters.  He has four rows of three months at a time stacked neatly in his head.  It has taken much concentration and work to get his in line and for him to be able to see 12 months.  I am REALLY proud of him.  He can rattle off the dates of family birthdays, holidays, and important things like his trip to DC, and scout camp.  He has already remembered important dates throughout the end of the year. 

All that may sound crazy, but if you suffer from ADHD, that calendar doesn't easily exist.  If you ask The Coach what his mental calendar looks like, he will tell you that it is only for the week.  Thanks to his ADHD, he has no mental concept of what follows the end of the week.  He is very organized though, thanks to years of Franklin Covey classes and a really good electronic and paper planning system he has perfected over the years.  

Justice and I talked about our calendars this year, and we reflected back on the things of the past year that were memorable and that we could still see mentally on this year's calendar, before we file it away and concentrate on the year ahead.

This past year was bittersweet.  My calendar contains the death of my mother, but it also contains the birth of our sweet baby boy.  It has the day that I got my father back, and the day that my children gained a grandfather.  It also contains the day I poured my mother's ashes over a bridge in Washington and watched her drift down a waterfall.  It contains a shattered heart, a cold letter, and cookbooks with her handwriting.  It's a sweatshirt with her scent, Christmas dishes I was too sad and brokenhearted to use this year, and the reality that it was over.  It has the birth of new relationships, a newfound friendship with my dad, and the light in his eyes when he plays with my children.  It contains a really awesome summer.  I doubt we will ever recreate the awesomeness of the trips we took over the summer.  It contains a retirement and new beginnings for The Coach.  The happiness of finally being done with 30 years of military service, and the tears in his eyes as he prepared to leave the only job he'd ever had, the job he poured his heart and soul into for 30 years.  There were new friendships and reconnecting with old friends.  New bonds formed with family I hadn't talked to in over 20 years, and the reality that some old bonds were too damaged to be fixed.  The last memorable item on my calendar was an old bridge that I finally had the courage to pour gasoline on and light on fire.  Sound dramatic?  It was.  Moving on will set a part of my heart free that has been chained for 23 years.  

It was indeed a very eventful and busy year.  But it is over, and it's time to gear up and prepare for what lies ahead.  There are some big and scary, yet exciting things in store for our family in 2014.  We will head into this year with the hope and promise of a good year full of happiness and good health.  I know there will be trials, but we are hopeful that the good will outweigh the bad, and our spirits will remain positive and uplifted through both the good and bad times.  

I hope that as my family and friends reflect on the past years calendar and the promise of the new year, that you are all filled with hope and that new beginnings will bring happiness and love.

Happy New Year!