The Trouble With Sugar Cookies

Remember my pumpkin cookies?  

And remember when I said I hated to make sugar cookies?  And remember when I said that I am only capable of frosting them with real buttercream and they never look great?  

I've never ever ever been a "pretty" baker.  I bake for taste, and taste alone.  And I think mostly I hit the mark.  I am NOT awesome at decorating.  I can frost a cupcake, a cake and obviously a cookie with a star tip, but I can't do anything else.  No borders, no flowers, and ohhhhhh NEVER any writing.  ACK.  My handwriting is bad enough with a pen, let alone a frosting bag.

Anyhow, I baked those pumpkin cookies and they were gone in 24 hours.  The cookie base is outstanding.  Thick buttery shortbread flavored with almond and vanilla.  Moist and really yummy.  And that's where my talent stops.  If I could be done after baking the cookie and pass them on to someone else to frost, I'd be in business.  So, I rarely bake cut-out cookies because they look awful by the time I get finished with them.  

But Jack absolutely LOVES them.  I've never seen him behave that way around a cookie.  He's been bugging me since I baked the first batch to make some more.  I've been ignoring him.  I don't want to bake any more of them.  Ugh.  

I thought I was off the hook because he said he only wanted a ghost cookie.  Nothing else, just ghosts.  Well, lucky me I don't have a ghost cutter!  I told him that and he said: 

"YES you do, MOM."  

And he brought me this.

That's actually a tulip cookie cutter.  But when you flip it upside down it apparently looks like a ghost in the eyes of little guy dying for a ghost cookie.

Not a whole lot to a ghost cookie, so I reluctantly gave in.  White frosting and black eyes.  And then he said...

Jack:  "I don't want them like the last time, I want them smoooooooooth like the special kind."

Me:  "The special kind?" 

Jack:  "Yeah, you know.  Like the ones from Cody's party."

Noooooooooooo!  It's a tragedy!  I hate to make those kind!  The kind with the outline first, then you have to flood them!!!  But, it's just a ghost, so at least it's only two colors of frosting.  

AND this is why I don't like to make sugar cookie icing.  It's messy.  I don't like a messy kitchen, and it  gets messy.  I don't think it needs to be this messy, but I'm not great with handling frosting so it gets everywhere.  And obviously I'm not exaggerating.

Anyhow, I also do not have a delicate touch.  Outlining takes a delicate hand, and I'm pretty sure there isn't one person in this entire world past or present that ever used the word delicate to describe me.  It's cool.

Dang it.  Put my finger right through the edge of that one.  Ooops.

I don't use royal icing unless it's gingerbread house time.  It's difficult, just like everything else that needs to come out of a piping bag and put on a cookie.  It dries quickly and hurts your hand to squeeze it out.  So, I use a really neat recipe that uses corn syrup.  You can pipe with it and then just add another tablespoon of milk for flood consistency.  Although it does dry to the touch, it doesn't harden enough to bag the cookies individually.  But that's ok with me.  And it tastes a lot better than royal icing.

And then I had to put some stupid beady eyes on the dang cookies.  Ghosts should be eyeless.  I tried to thicken the corn syrup icing and that didn't work.  So I absolutely HAD to make a teensy batch of my nemesis, royal frosting.  

And then I haphazardly squeezed some round blobs on the cookies and squished them down.  And then I called Jack in to look at my hideous cookies, which are indeed quite hideous.  

Don't say I didn't tell you already that I couldn't decorate for beans.

And the little guy apparently doesn't have very high standards.  Jack jumped up and down and was absolutely thrilled.  He declared...

"Mom, you are too awesome for me.  Just too awesome."  

And if Jack is happy, I'm happy.  And guess what cookie he picked first?  The one I stuck my finger through the edge of with all my delicate tendencies.  He hadn't even noticed.   That was one of those much needed "A-ha" moments for me.  I need to chill sometimes.  It's OK not be as good as Martha Stewart or Betty Crocker at something, and just because I'm not great at it in my eyes doesn't mean the kids don't think it's great.  The little people in my house appreciate my efforts and at the end of the day, that's really all that matters.