Grandma Mary Lou

I was always blessed to share a birthday with my sweet Grandma Mary Lou.  She told me countless times that I was the best birthday present she ever received.

On my birthday this year, I wanted to take the time to honor the strongest woman I've ever met in my life.  She was also a "lady" to the very extent of the word.  She was the woman that made sure I kept my dress down when I was a little girl and always made sure I had lacy socks and shiny shoes.  She taught me the proper way to wear gloves, and the proper way to walk in heels.

She gave me pantyhose for my 12th birthday, and instructed me how and when to wear them. 

"A lady never leaves the house with bare legs", she said.  And if she said it, it was truth.  I think I am the only person I know that wears pantyhose to church, but that's the way I was raised, and I will follow her rules until the day I die.  And please, make sure I'm buried in pantyhose.

"A woman never wears white shoes after labor day", and I still to this day follow this golden rule, even though not many do these days.  She meant business about it, and although she is no longer here on earth and it's 95 degrees in Tennessee, I put my white shoes away after Labor Day.  

I never ever recall her looking sloppy or wrinkly, even when she was wearing gardening clothes.  She was always properly prepared for any occasion.  Hair coifed, makeup tastefully applied, and shoes and pocketbook that matched every outfit.

My Grandma was classy, and a lady to the core.

Well, imagine my surprise when I found out how this lady met my Grandfather.  

My Grandma lived in Indiana and shared an apartment with several friends.  I assume she worked as a secretary, because she had graduated from a business college.  Ernst Leichsenring was a Technical Sergeant in the Army Air Force during WWII, and was stationed at a nearby air base towards the end of his enlistment.  They met at a dance, and afterwards she and her roommates arranged to meet the soldiers from the dance out in town later that evening.   When my Granddad was discharged from the service, he told her "meet me in Kingman, Arizona" where he was from, and by gosh my Grandma got on that train and went to meet him.  The train was full of soldiers, but she said "all was proper" and confessed that she did enjoy the attention that was paid to her by those soldiers on the train ride.  I have a  hard time wrapping my head around such a classy and proper lady hopping on a train to travel cross country meet a soldier.

Thankfully, my Granddad was indeed waiting for her at the train station in Kingman, and the rest is history.   

My Granddad's family lived in Kingman, so My Great Aunt Mildred was around and available to "show her how to run a proper house" and also taught her to cook.  I will tell you she did a fine job, as her house was always spotless and she was a good cook.   She also claims to have introduced my Grandma to "everybody in town", which helped my Grandma become the social butterfly I always remember her to be.

She was also a very smart lady.  She was the Business Manager of the local newspaper for 33 years, and I remember always being really proud when people would ask me "You're Mary Lou's granddaughter?" because EVERYBODY knew Mary Lou.  She was an active member of her church where she sang in the choir.  She was an active member of the local Soroptimist Club, Daughters of the Pioneers, Friends of the Library, Hostess Club, Pink Ladies, and a volunteer at the local museum.

My grandfather suffered terribly from Rhuematoid Arthritis for as long as I remember.  He was around 35 when he was diagnosed, and he was completely crippled when I was a very young child.  I remember him always being on crutches for a time, and my grandmother took care of him as long as she could, but eventually he was admitted to the Veterans Hospital in Prescott, Arizona where he passed away in 1982 at the age of 60.  I was only 12.  He was ill for a very long time.  

Anniversary picture.  I would guess the 25th.  

I don't think I realized until I was an adult how strong my Grandma was.  She took wonderful care of my grandfather, and I never recall her ever complaining or having a "woe as me" attitude.  

She eventually remarried in 1986, and I was incredibly happy for her.  My grandfather was sick for most of her young life, and his disease restricted travel and any other things couples would enjoy at their ages.  

Grandma Mary Lou and Grandpa Erwin Herridge

Erwin was wonderful man with a kind heart.  I have very fond memories of him.

And very sadly, Erwin was involved in a terrible automobile accident just months after they married, and his health was never the same.  He was in the hospital for a very long time, and he was fairly handicapped until his death in 2001.  He had to have dialysis after the accident as well, which limited traveling.  I never heard her complain not once about the hand she was dealt in life.  She took wonderful care of Erwin throughout the remainder of his life, and she also cared for his aging mother until she passed away.  

She was a caregiver all of her adult days.  She provides me an immeasurable amount of strength during tough times.  When I'm feeling sorry for myself, or having a "why me" moment, all I have to do is think of my dear sweet Grandma Lou Lou.

What would Grandma do?  Well, I'm not sure what she would have done, but I do know what she wouldn't have done.  She wouldn't have sat around feeling sorry for herself, that's for certain.

My dear sweet Grandma passed away  in 2011 after suffering from Alzheimer's Disease for many years.  I hadn't spoken to her in many years due to the situation with my family.  My Aunt reassured me  that Grandma never even knew why my parents weren't speaking to me, and that she often wondered where I was or what I was doing.  I had no idea that she wasn't intentionally not speaking to me like the rest of them, and I have carried around a huge block of guilt over not reaching out to her.  But, by the time I was aware of that, she was already very sick and her memory was failing badly.  After she passed away I just took solace in the fact that she now knows how much I love her, and that she understands the full situation.  And it's funny, because I feel her with me all the time.  I have plenty of other people in my life that have passed away, including my Mom, and I've never "felt" them before.  But I feel her, she is with me all the time.  And that is precisely why I put my white shoes away and I continue to wear pantyhose, because I know she is watching me.  My Aunt told me something that one of the caregivers in the dementia care facility said about her after she passed away:

"She was the best dressed lady in the whole place!  She was always wearing her skirt and pantyhose."

Four generations

I have so many wonderful memories of her.  I remember...

Orange candy slices in the orange glass jar in her living room.

The "dice game"

Grasshopper Pie

The Little Engine That Could

Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys books

Pantyhose

"4 Clothes and 1 Toy" (The ratio of Christmas presents every year)

Blue Corduroy slacks for my brother, every year at Christmas whether he wanted them or not.

The Grandfather Clock

Her piano

See's Candy

Several different Lincoln Towncars

Church 

The best Christmas cookies EVER

"An inch of each", regarding what kind of pie we wanted after holiday dinners

Peanut soup (not a good memory, haha)

Encyclopedia Brittanica

Afternoon's with her at her office at the paper

The newspaper's annual Christmas party 

The Elks annual picnic in the Hualapai Mountains

Her closet full of dresses and matching shoes/handbags

Her sewing basket

Her backyard, with it's perfect flowers and one of the only yards with grass in it in the whole city.

Snapdragons

The fact that she told me never to wear underwear to bed because everything needed to "breathe".  I can't say I've followed that piece of advice, but it gives me a good laugh every time I recall the conversation.  

"You know, Jennie"... the way every conversation started where I was to learn a lesson of some sort.

Perfectly wrapped gifts, for every occasion

Happy Birthday, Grandma.  I am honored to share a birthday with you.