South Carolina, Part 1. Grandma's House

After we left Disney World, we drove to South Carolina to visit with Joe's family for a week.

I love Joe's Mom and his sister.  They welcomed me into their family from day one, and have loved me unconditionally every day since.

I met Joe's Mom for the first time about four years after we first met, and right after we had moved in together.  Yes, I know it's odd I didn't meet her earlier.  But you have to understand that when Joe and I first met, we were honestly "just dating" and had NO intentions of it becoming anything other than an experiment in dating for either of us.  Yes, that's what I said.  An experiment.  I hadn't ever dated anyone outside of my race, and really just did it to try and break the "horrible guy" cycle I had been in since I first started dating.  I was out looking to date the most different guy I could find, and Joe sort of fell in my lap.  I knew it wouldn't last, and quite honestly I didn't want it to last.  Joe felt the same way.  He was coming out of a miserable marriage too and the last thing either of us needed was another serious relationship.  So we just dated.  

Weeks turned into months, months turned into years and we realized our experiment backfired on us.   We never really talked about our feelings for each other because we were in denial.  Finally, about three years into dating we decided we would move in together, because I for one was not about to marry again without living with the person first.  That didn't exactly work out in my favor the first time around and I was taking no chances.  So we moved in together, and then very shortly after that I got pregnant with Justice.  And then I met Joe's Mom.

 She was cautious of me, and I knew she was worried about Joe since he hadn't done real well picking his first wife (hahaha).  However, she was quick to notice that I did love her son, and I took really great care of his older kids, who happened to be visiting for the summer when she came the first time around.   She was having trouble finding anything wrong with me.  And THEN, while we were at work one day, my OB doctor called and she answered the phone.

Oh, yes.... we forgot to mention to her that I was pregnant with Justice.  

She waited hours before she mentioned the phone call.  We were sitting at the table eating dinner and she very casually and out of nowhere said: 

"Jennifer, your OB doctor called while you were out.  They need to reschedule your first visit"

My oldest daughter Joneya was around 11 at the time.  She said:

"Oh SNAP!" and started laughing.  She had no idea about the baby until that point.  It was REALLY early on and we hadn't told anyone.  Jamaal was clueless, he had no idea what an OB doctor even was, and Shandi was visiting her Dad in California at the time.

It was pure comedy.

She closed out the conversation with

"You're getting married"

And it was not a question.  We married shortly thereafter.

Anyhow, the rest is history that needs no repeating.  Joe's Mom loves me, and I love her.  Joe's sister Kathy is fiercely protective of me, and I love her dearly.  

Fast forward two years to our first trip to South Carolina.

Joe has a HUGE family.  He has more Aunts and Uncles than I can even count.  And the one thing I learned about black families is that some of those people aren't even blood relatives at all.  And there isn't a single white person in the entire humongous family except for me.  I was REALLY nervous about going to South Carolina the first time.  I didn't know what to expect, and I didn't know how people would react.  My fears were mostly short lived because Joe's sister Kathy runs the show.  People in that family fear Joe's sister, and that's good for me.  She would slay anyone that was unkind, and they knew it.  So everyone was very nice.  And I quickly fell in love with many of them.  Joe's Mom would defend me to the death, and people knew it.  The area their family lives at in South Carolina is still deeply segregated.  It's 30 years behind where we live near Memphis.  Some of those kids look at me and I can tell they've never even met a white person before.  But they were all very nice.  And I was very thankful.  I had the opportunity to meet Joe's maternal grandmother before she passed away at around 100 years old.  She hugged me and told me that she loved me.  I felt really blessed.

Joe was born in South Carolina, and moved to the Bronx in New York shortly thereafter.  He lived in the Bronx until he entered high school.  His Mom became worried about him and the friends he was keeping, and feared he would be in trouble very soon.  At that point, she made the decision to send him to South Carolina to live with his paternal grandparents during his high school years.  It probably saved his life.  He has wonderful memories of those grandparents (they are both deceased now) and he credits his grandfather for him turning into the man he is today.  His Mom moved back to South Carolina shortly after we met to take care of her aging Mother.  His roots run deep in South Carolina.

Justice LOVES visiting South Carolina.  There is family everywhere for him to play with, and his Uncle Herb (Kathy's husband) dotes on him like he is his own son.  Joe's family lives very close to one another.  There are a few plots of family acreage that each family member has a piece of and they have either built a home on that land, they live in a family home on that land, or they have placed a mobile or modular home on that land.  Many of them are within walking distance to one another, through a well-walked trail that runs through the property.  It's really an amazing and different way of life that centers on one thing.  Family.  

Every day we are there, family filters through my Mother in Law's home.  They come for food, they come for company, they just stop by to say hello.  It's constant.  We go to dinners at other family member's houses.

Joe's Aunt Evelyn had us over for Sunday dinner, and it was great fun.  Definitely no shortage of good food and so much laughter it will make your sides hurt.  I will say this though; I cannot understand half of what they say.  The Lowcountry South Carolina Gullah accent is thick in the folks that have lived there all their lives.  Much of Joe's family has lived in New York at some point, and they don't speak with as thick of an accent as those that haven't lived elsewhere.

Joe's Mom and her brother Cain.  Cain is one of my favorites.  He is the nicest person in the world to me, and the boys love him.  Cain speaks with a thick accent.

My other two favorites.  Aunt Evelyn and her daughter Brenda.

My all-time favorite, Kathy.  Oh I love my sister in law! 

This is my beautiful niece Kristian.  She is growing up entirely too quickly.  She is a senior in high school this year and is an amazing basketball player. 

Cousins.  Notice Jack standing on the watermelon.

Me with Brenda. 

Kathy and "her boys".  She loves her boys to pieces.  The boy on the right is Brenda's son Aaron.

On the last day that we were there, Kathy and her husband Herb had a BBQ at their house for us.  It was awesome.  Herb can COOK.  He caters and holy cow can he cook some good southern food.  It's the best ever.  

Here's what I'm talking about.  See all these kids?  They are all family, playing ball at Kristian's house at her basketball court.  Justice is in the mix somewhere.  There must have been 75 people come to the BBQ through the course of the evening.  It was a lot of fun.

When we visit, Justice stays with his Uncle Herb.  This time Jack was old enough to go, too.  And he had a TON of fun.  But Jack was worn out on the last day.  

Kris was worn out, too.  Those boys did a number on her.  She was a babbling fool by the last day of our trip.  I know she slept the entire next day after we left. 

And finally, this is Kris smacking on a rib.  I told her I was going to post it, and here it is.  Hahaha.  Sorry darlin, you know I love you.