Master Chief Petty Officer, Going Ashore

Today I watched my dear husband retire after 30 years of faithful and dedicated service.  I've heard those words so many times, "faithful and dedicated service",  that I've unknowingly and admittedly taken them for granted.  But as I sat in the front row of Joe's ceremony today, I realized just how MUCH he's given to the Navy over the years, and what a faithful and dedicated man he truly is.  I watched as his closest friends and shipmates said goodbye to the man that has served as mentor, leader, shipmate and friend to them for 30 years.  It was an emotional day filled with love, and it couldn't have possibly turned out any better.

The topic of Joe's retirement ceremony came up around a year ago.  Typically, a Master Chief Petty Officer with as many years in service as Joe would inevitably have a huge ceremony with a hundred people in attendance.  People come from far away to attend, and huge parties are planned.  Joe?  He knows everybody.  This had the potential to be one of the largest ceremonies I'd ever been to.  But Joe had other ideas.  He made it perfectly clear to me that he had no intention of having a typical and grand ceremony.  He wanted a small and by invitation only ceremony for his closest friends and acquaintances because he wanted it to be personal.  He wanted to bid farewell to his shipmates in an intimate setting.  He wanted to thank them individually for their support.  He wanted to thank his family individually and personally.  He didn't want his ceremony to be a grand occasion full of pomp and circumstance.  He went against the norm to make it happen.  

Imagine that.  NCCM(SW/AW) Joseph Mack, going against the norm.

I was mindful of his countenance and emotional well being in the months and weeks leading up to his ceremony.  The Navy was the first job he ever had, and it was the only way of life he's known since he was 17 years old.  The transition from the military to civilian life can be really hard for people like Joe, and I was a little worried about him.  This ceremony was to be a very important part of the transition process, and is really necessary to establish a sense of closure.  He knows this, it's part of his job to counsel Sailor's on the importance of this particular ceremony.

I did not have a retirement ceremony.  It drove Joe crazy.  He argued with me till he was blue in the face about my decision not to have one.  I didn't waver, and I did not have one.  At the time, I didn't feel like I needed that sense of closure.  I had become less than enamored with the military, and how much it had changed over the years.  The things I loved about it had changed and I felt a sense of detachment from the Navy.  I didn't HAVE to retire, I chose to and I made the transition as soon as I was eligible.  

I also do not like being the center of attention.  The thought of having a ceremony in my honor was absolutely not something I was interested in.  I also wasn't going to have a difficult time with the transition.  (And I didn't, for the record.)  But there was even more to it than that.  A retirement ceremony is also about family.  It's about having your parents in the front row to thank for their support.  Mine wouldn't be there, and that was very painful for me.  In order to avoid the whole uncomfortable situation, I opted out.  And I didn't regret it.  But I also left the military with a sense of bitterness, and that bitterness grew a little more every year after I retired.  The bitterness has faded now, and I can only thank Joe for that.  Thanks to him, I can't even really put into words WHY I was bitter, as it doesn't seem important now.  I had a very successful career.  I was advanced to Senior Chief Petty Officer in only 14 short years, and was well respected in my own right.  My shipmates were shocked when I dropped the "I'm going to retire" bomb on them.  No one saw it coming.  But I was emotionally tired.  

Joe was right.  I needed the closure.  I didn't even realize it until I had it.  I got it in a wonderful and loving way that only Joe would be capable of. 

I knew he was up to SOMETHING in the weeks leading towards the ceremony, but I wasn't sure exactly what it was.  He wouldn't let me help him with ANY part of his ceremony.  That drove me insane.  He claimed it was because of Jacoby, and that I didn't need that added task on top of taking care of a newborn.  Hmmmm...  I wasn't buying it.  But I let it go.  I knew he had a good crew of shipmates helping him put it together so I backed off and let him be.  

Joe's ceremony started off the way all retirement ceremonies do, and had all the traditional aspects to it.

Our very dear family friend Bob Collier gave the invocation and benediction.

Awards were presented

Flags were presented

And gifts were presented.

Joe gave Shandi a beautiful anchor necklace.  He has definitely always been the anchor in her life.  She was really touched.  There was definitely no shortage of tears that day.

He gave the boys a tie-bar from whatever pay grade he was when each boy was born.

Senior Chief tie-bar for Justice.  He is so sensitive, the sweet little boy cried his eyes out.

He perked up after the ceremony though, when Dad let him wear his cover.

It was touch and go for Jack during the ceremony.  It was REALLY HOT in the building.  Due to sequestration cuts, the air conditioners in all the buildings on base are set at about 80 degrees to save money.  Jack was hot.  And of course he was grouchy.  He started to shed his clothing about 10 minutes into the ceremony.  And then he quietly slid down off his seat onto the floor.  And I was just fine with that until I looked down and he was trying to take his shirt off.  Thank goodness for the button collared shirt he was wearing, or he would have been naked before then end of the ceremony.

Master Chief tie-bars for Jack and Jacoby.

Then Joe veered off course a little.  As his wife, I was supposed to be given a certificate of appreciation and some flowers.  That's tradition.  And that's when Joe went hard right rudder and changed course on the whole ceremony.  

After I received my certificate of appreciation, I started to sit down, but he motioned for me to stay on the stage.  I turned to look at his Master of Ceremonies, who is also a dear friend of Joe's.  His expression was priceless.  Ear to ear grin.  I said "He's in big trouble, isn't he?".  No answer.  I then turned to his retiring officer, Captain Flaherty.  I repeated my question to him.  His answer?

"He certainly loves you VERY much."

Oh boy.  What in the world was going on.  And as if he knew he was in big trouble, he got me in the soft spot.

This is my great-Aunt Mildred.  Affectionately known as Bodie.

She served in the Navy during WWII.  She was feisty and ornery.  She is my hero and my heart.  She was a huge part of my childhood and I love this woman more than words can express.  She was so proud of me for joining the Navy.  We had a special bond because of my decision to serve.  She would tell me stories of her time in the service that she wouldn't tell anyone else.  "They don't get to hear this", she'd say.  She made me feel special.  I worked hard because I wanted her to be proud of me.  I was proud of her.  It took a lot of moxie to serve back in those days.

She had given me a letter that she received after she was discharged, signed by Admiral Forrestal.  I had tucked it away in a box and it was in the attic for years.  Joe found it, and he framed it along with her picture.  And when I turned to see exactly what Joe was up to and saw the framed picture and letter, my knees weakened.  I cried.  And my love for my dear husband grew.  

And as if that wasn't enough, he also had a shadowbox made for me with a bunch of my old memorabilia that he has collected over the course of my career.  And I love it.  It was perfect.  

I do have the best husband in the whole world.  

At the end of the ceremony, a junior Sailor reports to the person that is retiring and tells them

"I assume the watch"

And the retiree reports

"I stand relieved"

This junior Sailor held a special significance for Joe.  He was a recruit in the very first division that Joe trained when he was a Recruit Division Commander at Recruit Training Command ten years ago.  And this was the saddest moment of the ceremony for me.  I saw Joe's countenance change, I saw the sadness of the realization of it creep up into his face.  He knew this was it, it was over.  30 years of military life was over with that final salute.

After he was relieved, he was "piped over the side" and was announced as being retired.

After that, tradition dictates that the retiree comes back through the sideboys and the entire family is announced.

Tradition calls for a shadow box of some sort to display memorabilia from your career.  Joe wanted a Sea Chest.  This particular chest has a history.  We purchased this old beat up trunk at an antique store in New Orleans.  Joe loved it.  It was awful looking.  He was sure that one day "we" would refinish it and make it useful.  (And by "we", I mean "me".) So we toted this old thing around for over ten years waiting for that time to come.  

He ultimately decided he wanted it to serve as his shadowbox.  I put a considerable amount of effort in refinishing the outside of the trunk for him, and he had a shipmate configure the inside with the compartments to hold his memorabilia.  The hard work really paid off, and it looks amazing.   I was really happy to have been a part of the transformation of this trunk, and really glad we kept it all these years.  

Joe is blessed with a truly amazing family.  They have always been so supportive of him, and several family members made the trip from South Carolina to share the day with him.

Joe and his Mom

We planned on having a cookout after his ceremony for his family, and I spent the day before his ceremony cooking.  I cooked a lot of food.  We grilled 40 pounds of chicken.  The giant pan of macaroni and cheese I made had 24 cups of cheese in it.  That's a lot of mac and cheese.  Joe's family brought up a bushel of crabs with them, too.  We rented two of the cottages on the base so there was plenty of room for everyone.   It was a great time for everybody, and I was glad to have them all here for Joe. 

It was a wonderful day, celebrating the career of a wonderful man that I am proud to call my husband.