Table Manners

So I'm trying to organize our photos into albums and I notice I've taken a bunch of pictures of Justice eating.  I really hadn't realized that I'd taken so many "Holy cow Justice, look at your face" pictures until I started sorting them all out.

And, in the spirit of why I blog (to embarrass the kids when they are adults and have their own kids), I am posting these for his children to enjoy many years down the road as he complains about their lack of manners.

Dear Justice, 

You have the worst table manners I've ever seen in a child your age.  I take most of the responsibility for this, because well, it's my job to make sure you eat like a human.  We eat "quickly" a lot in our house.  There is normally a practice to go to, and eating happens quickly and in shovel like motions prior to leaving the house.  Sometimes it happens in the car on the way.  As a result, your table manners are absolutely awful.  I normally don't notice how bad they are until we are in public eating and then I'm like "Holy cow Justice, look at your face" and then I take a picture, mostly because I'm in awe of how you can get so much food in your face in such a short period of time.  I love you dearly my son, and we all know you have plenty of gifts, talents, and strong points.  But if you get an invitation to eat dinner at The White House one day, please do your country a favor and politely decline.  

Love, Mom

This sort of explains a lot, so it gets to be the first picture.  If Justice makes his own sandwich, this is what it looks like.  He doesn't like to fool around with two separate sandwiches when he can get the job done quicker with one giant one.  

These two pictures came from another blog post, Cooking Lessons.  Makes you never want to eat BBQ chicken again.

A buffet is the worst place ever to take this boy.  It's like he panics, thinking that all the food will be gone if he doesn't eat it all at once.  

The boys have been to Applebee's only one time in their lives.  And this is why.  Applebee's is too classy for the Mack family.

Justice can somehow manage to even make ice cream look unappetizing.

Marshmallow, anyone?

Saving a little BBQ sauce for later.

And this is one of those lovely Self Portraits that the boys like to take of themselves.  I have no idea what is all over his chin, but it's gross.  

And in an odd turn of events, Justice also happens to be a master at using chopsticks.  You'd think with as fast as he needs to eat that chopsticks wouldn't get the job done.  He's found a way to shovel food in with them just as fast as with a fork.  The problem is that he likes to keep his face low to the bowl and well, it just looks gross.

His little sidekick isn't much better.  His face is way too far away from the bowl.

You have something in your eye, you say?  That's FOOD.  

Classy.  

Oh hey there, Jack.  Have an egg roll.

I know you are embarrassed my son, but it just had to be done.  You are going to be the type of Dad that is so hard on his kids about manners and they just need to know the way things used to be when you were a kid.  Cut them some slack.  But don't cut them as much slack as I've cut you, because obviously that's not working out.  The proof is in the pictures.