Jack's Foul Language

Way back in the day when Joe and I were both younger, we both used some pretty foul language.  I cursed like a Sailor and I bet I could have cursed Davy Jones under the table in his briny grave if I was really in the mood and the occasion was right.

We raised the three older children around our foul mouths and cursing vocabulary and taught them not to curse and they all obeyed and didn't curse.  I cannot ever remember hearing ANY of our older children use any curse words at all when they were younger, and none of them would dare use them around us now either.

The elimination of foul language from our vocabulary coincides with two things.  First, my retirement from the Navy.  Second, our activity and membership in the church.   I stopped using foul language when I retired from the military.  I was far removed from the environment that bred that behavior and I simply stopped.  Joe stopped a few months later when he joined the church.  We considered ourselves very lucky that we managed to raise non-cursing children in our home in spite of our faults, and considered our younger two boys very blessed to be in a much better environment.

And as they always say, "all good things must come to an end", as did the reign of the non-cursing Mack children.

Jack began using foul language at a really early age.  Since no one around him was using curse words and he was home with me all day, we honestly had NO idea where he was getting it from.  And for the record, it's NOT the television because we do not watch any adult programming in our home except sports.  No prime time reality shows, no talk shows, no NOTHING except sports and the Disney Channel.  Yes, occasionally you may hear an accidental curse word during a sporting event, but that's not the norm.  So I did what most parents did in this situation.  I blamed the older brother.  If you know Justice at all, you know I was wrong in blaming him.  I acknowledge that now, and when he was being the patsy for Jack's bad language, Justice vehemently denied any part of it.  But where was he getting it from?  

If there is one thing I am certain of, Jack has the ears of a dog and can hear a curse word ten miles down highway 51 on a trucker's CB radio in his sleep and repeat it the next day.  And when he repeats it, he uses it correctly and in the context it was meant to be used in. He has called Justice several horrible things and spouted out a fountain of filth that would make poor Ralphie in A Christmas Story look like a saint.  Among his favorites are:

b****

a******

f*****

And two variations of his all time favorite which I have heard at least twice in the last few months.

You are really p****** me off

I'm p***** at you! 

And no matter the punishment that the boy receives after spouting a mouthful of dirt, he continues to slip a bad word in his conversations occasionally.  But last night, this boy hit the absolute Motherload of all cursing.

We were at a football scrimmage and Jack was torturing (playing with) one of the players sisters.  She is a year older than Justice, and he seems to adore her.  She tolerates him and deals with him, and is very sweet to him.  Last night out of absolutely nowhere, he got aggravated with her and said:

"You are a d**** b******!"

Okay, can you imagine?  I almost stroked out completely right there.  Actually I had hoped I would stroke out, because the only thing I really wanted to do was die right then and right there.  I snatched Jack up by the ear and demanded him to tell me where he heard that from.  I knew absolutely without a doubt that it was NOT in our home.  In all my cursing days and in all Joe's, that's not even something that we have ever even said.  And no, I'm not being naive about Justice either.  If you know Justice it would never cross your mind that he would say something like that.  Justice truly believes that Jesus is watching his every move and just flat out wouldn't do it.  So my conversation with Jack went something like this.

Me:  "WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT FROM?"

Jack:  "No one, I just heard it from myself"

Me:  "STOP LYING JACKSON, WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT FROM?"

Jack (crying):  NO ONE, I JUST HEARD IT FROM MYSELF"

Me (almost crying):  "TELL ME NOW OR I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU!"

Jack:  "THE PLAYGROUND!!! I HEARD IT AT THE FOOTBALL PLAYGROUND!!!".

Ahhhhhhhhh.  And there it is.  The dreaded football playground.  

There is a jungle gym at the football field where Justice plays and practices and typically I let Jack play there during practice.  There are plenty of other children there and it keeps them occupied during the two hour practice.  Apparently, rites of manhood are also learned at this playground in the form of curse words.  Unfortunately, there is also a skate park at the football field, and it's typically filled with teenagers at night and I'm sure the language is sometimes awful.  With the playground equipment that close to the skate park, it was bound to happen that Jack The Curse Word Magnet would pick up some choice new material.  Unfortunately for Jack, he will no longer be allowed to play at the playground during football practice.  

And hopefully, just hopefully this will be the end of the reign of Jack the Curser.